I have a confession. I stumbled, tripped and fell right into the Dirty Ditch of Self-Doubt where it’s dark and stinky and not fit for any of us.But there I was. Covered in it actually.
You see, the thing about claiming your Badass Visionary and upping the ante on visibility is that you have to put yourself out there. You have to take risks. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and be seen.
So I did. I wrote something up to my tribe and I sent it out. And then… I held my breath a little, refreshed my email 20 times, went on Facebook (aka Time Vampire) and waited.
Nothing happened. I stared at the report. I looked at the open rate, I looked at the clicks and realized I didn’t get a response. No one commented, signed up, checked it out, tweeted, linked, or responded. Two people unsubscribed. Of course, this comes on a day when I burned dinner, drove my son to the dentist on the wrong day and also realized that my friend’s birthday was actually yesterday and I had missed it.
I found myself smack dab in the middle of the Dirty Ditch of Self-Doubt. And who was there with me? My Good Girl Gremlin along with Patty Pity Party.
“Just look at how pathetic you are. You have nothing important to say. No one cares. You’re writing clearly isn’t good enough or compelling.You make no difference. When are you going to just give up? You aren’t getting anywhere. You are just another boring voice among millions. You suck.”
(Side note: I’d like to officially nominate my Good Girl Gremlin for an academy award for best performance in a drama.)
So I laid there, feeling sorry for myself, doubting what I was doing, and allowing my energy, my power and my spark to begin fading out.
** cue superhero music and add a purple badass cape**
And just in time my Wise Woman Within swooped in and gave me some tools to get me back on track.
First, she gave me a Towel to wipe off the doubt. We all get dirty when we fall into the ditch. That residue is strong and sticky and likes to hide our worth. But with our Wise Woman towel we can wipe it off to reveal the truth: Our worth isn’t eroded by anything external. I am not lessened by a lack of response. Our worth is intrinsic. We are sacred divine beautiful beings and no perception of judgements, missteps, failures, or frustrations can change that. We realize that those perceptions of rejection are not attached to our worth and perhaps a mirror for how we are actually feeling inside. Our inner golden light lives inside of us whether we choose to feel bad about where we are or see the blessings in it.
Then she gave me a ladder because when you are sitting at the bottom of a ditch, its hard to see the possibilities. You have to climb up higher outside of yourself to see the big picture. Maybe I just needed to experiment with when I send the emails, maybe I didn’t make the call to action strong enough, maybe the message wasn’t being sent to the right people, maybe I needed to have the writing proofread. When I stood up on the ladder, I could see beyond the feeling of never wanting to write again. It meant that I had an opportunity to strengthen my core, re-evaluate, and learn. It was actually a learning experience to make me better at what I do.
And lastly my Wise Woman played some music (yes, it was Adam Levine, my official rocker crush) that got me dancing- got me connected and opened my heart. Being in the Dirty Ditch of Self Doubt doesn’t get me closer to what I want in my life. It doesn’t serve my purpose. It doesn’t help anyone else. It just makes me and everyone around me miserable. Knowing deeply that the world loses if any one of us gives up on our dream and our courageous vulnerability. So as the music played, I got reconnected to what I want to do, who I want to be and how I want to do it. I revisited my Badass Vision and formed a new plan.
And with my towel, my ladder and my inner soul music, I climbed out of that Dirty Ditch, recommitted to being who I am, staying courageous and vulnerable, and keeping my dreams alive.
Bye Bye Doubt, Hello Badass Vision.
Regena mentors leaders and visionaries on getting out of overwhelm and into purposeful and profitable action. She also works with women and men that ache for soul stirring lives and guides them to embody their sacred message. Regena is a powerful speaker, coach, and badass visionary gal that uses the power of manifestation to live a life of passion. Add to that an award winning direct seller, author, amazing cook, in-the-kitchen dancer, retreat leader, and owner of the company Reclaim your Essence, and you’ve got a taste of the Regena spice. Regena lives in Orlando, Florida with her husband of 16 years and her 9 year-old jedi-in-training.