There’s some BIG irony in play here…
For weeks, months even, I’ve been spouting on about speaking out for what matters, raising our voices, taking a stand … yada, yada… and here I am silencing myself. Too funny.
So what’s the (gasp!) awful thing I didn’t want to say?
I wanted to tell you that I was inspired by the power of two women’s voices to encourage you, once again, to raise your own voice.
Why was this not a good thing?
Because I was worried I might be – you know – annoying. I might irritate someone because I’m speaking out more than once for something. That I’m being passionate – and maybe a little louder and more insistent than I might usually be.
That’s it. That’s what stopped me. I didn’t want my passionate belief that women’s voices are essential to annoy you. (Please, feel free to roll your eyes. I am.)
Here’s the perfect example of how the warped sacred masculine (patriarchy, power-over, dominator paradigm) lives in me. How it’s in my beliefs and behaviors so deeply that, despite everything I know and all the work I’ve done, it can still seep out and taint my confidence.
So, how did I realize what was happening?
Curiosity. Mindful awareness. Knowing myself. Remembering the texture and taste of the limiting beliefs I’d been force-fed.
I was willing to wonder why. Not just assume that it wasn’t meant to be, or Spirit didn’t want me to, or it was a stupid idea anyway. I got curious about WHY.
I listened to myself, gently, and realized what was happening. Then I rolled my eyes, smacked myself in the head and judged myself a bunch. And then I stopped. Because that’s never helpful and it’s just feeding into the whole dominator thing again.
Because I thought you might relate, I thought I’d share the whole experience with you. For most of us the seeds of silencing are planted deep and it takes a few (OK – sometimes many) reminders to be aware of them.
So, here’s another reminder…
Be curious. Be present, mindful, aware. Know yourself. Be willing to ask “Why?” Be willing to listen to yourself with as little judgement as possible.
Tracie Nichols, M.A. is a change-maker and advocate for women and the earth. She’s the creator of Soul-Truthing; intuitive mentoring helping earth-loving change-making women unearth their unique leadership. “I believe it’s all right there in your heart. It just takes a little help blowing away the smoke and moving the mirrors for you to find it. Truly, you’re amazing, and we need you.”
Tracie has been developing her intuitive gift for nearly twenty years. She weaves her intuition with her masters degree in Human and Organizational Transformation to help women make, and stick with, significant life changes. You can find practical ideas, insights and inspiration on her website (almost) daily. Her well-loved newsletter appears in inboxes on the new and full moon. “Stop by tracienichols.com, grab a cup of tea, settle in and enjoy! I LOVE when a lively conversation springs up under a post.”
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